i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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