what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize