and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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