You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
