i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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