you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
