Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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