bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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