dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
