I didn't shave. On purpose
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
that is very illegal...i love you.
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