I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
