fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Damn victory sex feels great
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
