You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
