So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
