we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
