i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
