My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
