did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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