Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
