Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
