Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
