I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
