The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
