Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
