yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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