There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
