on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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