didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
