I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
How's work?
Spinning.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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