You're my little dorito
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
be right there i have to get my cape
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
