I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
