i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
