first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
