But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
