Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
