dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
