I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
