I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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