So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
