we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
