Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
