The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
