a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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