Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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