do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
