And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
