I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize