i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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