My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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