I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
