you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
