Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
