big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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