Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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