I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
