I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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