We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
