oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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