Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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