ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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