call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Randomize
